lost in translation

I've found it's a dizzy, enchanting, delightful feeling: being lost in translation. Already falling over backwards, tripping, spitting, sputtering clumsy words onto the greasy kitchen grill at work with my miniscule linguistics en español, it's like a blur of spinning lights, a ferris wheel ride that keeps spinning in circles and I don't dare let go of the railing, or step off the ride. (it does have its perks though, like my daily consumption of fish tacos, homemade walnut ice cream, orchata, sangria, tortas, salchica, and i like my enchiladas with chicken and colorado sauce). Needless to say, last week, at the apple store, I purchased Instant Immersion, 102 language learning - and I haven't even put the disk in attemps to learn Khmer. It's going to start all over in less than a month.

I watched Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" on the travel channel, and realized on paper, he seems a lot more vulgar and serious. On screen he appeared much more buoyant, positive, and in good spirits. But it's rather doubtful that the food network would allow you to be so unconstructively critical of what you ate in almost every country (even if it is technically your job to play the pretentious snob). Anyways, I purchased a copy of "A Cook's Tour" mostly for its chapter on Cambodia. Yet was disheartened to find the first sentence of the chapter to be: I was going to the worst place on earth. Cambodia does not hold the most cheery of reputations, as mass genocide underneath the khmer regime took place only in the last 30 years, and after watching skull upon skull piled upon each other in memorials in the travel DVD gramps taped for me, I realized that maybe this year might just change me more than I would think or could ever imagine.

Life happens so fast, although you most often hear its too short, and others claim its the longest thing we'll ever do. It's hitting me slowly - the weight of my decisions. Please keep me in your prayers. I have no strength on my own. But I am excited for life and all that it could and may hold.

short recap on my life if you don't know me:
currently: a gringa (not a guera, but just a non-speaker of español, who found she is definitely far from fluent from her two years of high school spanish) who is employed at a mexican restaurant, who knows it inappropriate to expect any latino/a to order from an ignorant all american- hablo ingles solamente....?
close future: southeast asia travels, and not only travels, transferred residence. I am going to live in pnom penh for the next 10 months! (yes, capital of cambodia, in a sketchy country with a crazy history, mostly khmer or buddhist, and there is probably a reason why they're is just about 0% tourism) but I am going to live at an adventist school and teach english with my friend liz, and we're going to live in an apartment in the steeple of the church, and i am nervous and excited and scared out of my mind and ecstatic. i leave august 22.