poverty is not a disgrace -- just an inconvenience.

I want to apply to be an SM (student missionary) next year. I know in the past i've been stifled by indecision, feeling like the timing wasn't right -- missing opportunities for the sake of complacency or apathy. But let this be a written act of my heart, that right now I want to give selflessly and want nothing in return - that God does not judge on performance, but willingness. I know it's a daily/reocurring decision, waking up everyday and deciding where to put your trust and focus - but I would like to put myself in situations where I could best learn to live this out. The same heart of mine that bawled coming home from 3 weeks in the Philippines from seeing the gluttony of Americans and the luxuries we take for granted (and it didn't take me long to fall back into my old selfish ways), would love to be heart-broken for a whole year and exert such pain and compassion into helping others less fortunate. Be the change you wish you see in the world (Ghandi). And as St. Augustine once prayed, I would like to as well: God, give me the serenity for the things I cannot change, courage for the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Few of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love (Mother Teresa). I don't know what my future holds, but all I'm saying is I want to serve and be willing to be molded by my Creator.